Bye Bye Barcelona

I am in the London airport waiting to board my connecting flight to the United States and it still has not set in that my study abroad experience is over. At this rate, I do not know if it will ever set in. My subconscious will indefinitely expect that eventually I will return to my apartment on Dos de Maig. I will metro home from internship, absentmindedly changing lines at Verdaguer and get off at Sant Pau, the route that has become automatic for me the last 4 months. I will say hola to Jose Maria, climb up 3 flights of stairs, and everything will be how I remember it. Chris w

ill be eating Glovo sprawled out on the couch, Max will ask me details about my weekend trip and we will eagerly catch each other up, then go grocery shopping at Bon Preu for our family dinner. Eva's radiant personality will just be a train ride away, always ready for one of our legendary adventures. Elodie and Lotte will have a new place to explore in the city, and we will watch the sunset at the Bunker's or get amazing tapas at the hospital or explore the science museum side by side. Brooke will ride the metro with me until I get off, and we will make plans for rooftop bars and Ovella Negra. This is the life I know, so it cannot be ending?

Deep down, though, I know it is. Do not get me wrong, there are American luxuries I am dying to get back to. Chipotle, real ice cream, free water, public restrooms, mac and cheese, my dog, plugging into outlets without an adapter, and a US phone number, to name a few. And I know that I have a lot to look forward to when I get back: Christmas with my family, seeing Nick, Lake Placid with Rowan, the Northern Lights in Iceland, volunteering in the Dominican Republic for spring break, my 21st birthday in Florida, spring sailing, preparing to train a therapy dog, the list goes on. When I was little, it stressed me out that I had so many things to be passionate about, all constantly tugging at my heartstrings when I was not able to make a decision. As I get older I realize how lucky I am to have so many fascinations. It colors my world.

I also know that studying abroad changed me. I have new priorities, and I wonder what will stick and what will fall away as I return to my comfort zone. There are several things that I absolutely do not want to forget, however, so this post is dedicated to Study Abroad Takeaway's.

1. The most important takeaway for me is discovering what makes me feel satisfied. For me, it happened when Eva, Nikolai, Max, Chris, Mindy, and I were all gathered around the apartment eating homemade vegetarian chili and playing cards. I looked around the room and had a realization. One of my favorite feelings in the world is being with people you love, watching them be genuine and present and happy, and knowing that you created this. You brought these people together, and it resulted in a room full of new connections and of full hearts. In our age of fake friends and determining self worth from numbers, it satisfies me on a deep level to see human beings connecting.

2. Another thing that struck me while abroad is how important it is to have a support system. Living in a country that speaks a language other than your native one is hard. That being said, I NEVER felt abandoned. It was frustrating at times, but I always had the people I came with, the new people I met, my entire family back home, the study abroad program staff, and all my US friends constantly cheering me on. This made a world of difference. I could not have embraced myself and grown in Barcelona if I did not have this group of people standing behind me. I hope they know I stand behind them in their times of need as well!

3. I love solo travel. You never have to deal with someone else's bad moods, high expectations, dietary constraints, or conflicting agendas. There is value in fending for yourself and I cherished being alone and being introspective. The independence of it all was transformative.

4. On the other hand, I love to travel with people. When you are in a new place with someone, no matter who they are, you now share an experience with them that no one else will ever be able to understand like this person who was there with you. Nothing, not FaceTime or photos or social media, can ever replace actually being there. You and this person are now connected by this memory and you will share it forever.

5. I learned to just do it. It's cheesy to the core, but the only reason that study abroad met all of my expectations is because I embraced things that I did not know. Some of my best memories came from situations where I took extra risks (read about Andorra and Mont Rebei). At times it was a little sketchy, but this is what made it authentic. Interviewing the volunteers of the refugee camp in Athens, the overwhelming tidbit of advice they would give someone back home considering this opportunity is to simply do it. Most of my friends did not study abroad, and although I understand why, I think it is a mistake. Taking the leap was the hardest part, but also led to the most rewarding experience I have ever had.

6. Studying abroad taught me everything that education should be about. It was simultaneously hands-on, immersive, transforming, and exhausting. It made me angry, it made me confused, it made me optimistic, in all, it made me think. I often came home bubbling over with new ideas and itching to write down my perspective, or call Nick and discuss with him this new idiosyncrasy that I had "discovered" about our world. I was so excited about life and what I was learning and I was so excited to share it. This is a feeling I never want to lose.

7. Catalan culture. Although I never understood everything (why was there a dinner table for giants in front of the parliament building?), I learned to love it all. The Caganer (a pooping person that goes in the nativity scene to represent fertility), and el tio (a log with a face that Catalan children feed and care for as it gets progressively bigger in the weeks leading up to Christmas, culminating in a celebration where the tio gets repeatedly hit with a stick so that it poops Christmas gifts) are among my favorite Catalan traditions. So often our first reaction to something we don’t understand is fear or anger, but study abroad helped me be curious, and to often accept that no, this is now how it is done at home, and that is ok.